Rushing to get out the door this morning, my eyes do a quick scan of the house. I see the dirty dishes and bottles waiting patiently to be washed. Toys scatter the floor. I know my bed is unmade and bathroom needs cleaning. Anxiety sets in, and my stomach turns. Having a four month old and a husband who works 96 hour weeks ((bless his heart)) is not exactly the perfect recipe for a spotless living situation but I try my best for my own sanity.
I stop. I breathe. I take it in.
My perspective shifts as I remember those dishes once proudly held a meal shared with my husband and the bottles held formula that filled my baby's belly. Toys scatter the floor because I had been on my knees playing with my little girl and soaking in every sweet moment of this precious time we have together. The unmade bed represents holding my husband at night and snuggling with my daughter as we linger in the morning sun.
I see the beauty.
Recently I was hurt by someone close. The pain ran deep and the wounds left behind still sting. It was messy. It was not beautiful. It was hard. It was very ugly.
But our God is so much bigger. Without knowing the situation, friends that I never even knew I had came out of the wood works. Encouraging notes from women I admire came into my hands and filled my heart with truth and love. I was given the opportunity to bless women using a gift I am passionate about and came out blessed on the other end.
It was beautiful.
It is so refreshing to have a God who loves us to the core of our being. He knows us inside and out, better than we know ourselves. He turns our ashes into beauty and provides joy in the mourning. I have to cling to that in order to breathe. Oh, how he loves us.
This life can be overwhelmingly messy, but focusing on the beautiful makes it all worth the while.
XO, Em
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Meeting Isla
Okay, I told you guys that I was bad at keeping up with blogging. I think I've proven this to you all considering the fact that my last blog post was about 5 months ago. The truth is that I love blogging, and I've been meaning to get around to it. I've just had so many distractions! Anyway, I will try to be more on top of it from now on. I need to do a little more for myself! :)
So I thought it would be fun to introduce my favorite little girl to you:
Isla is officially ONE MONTH OLD as of this last Saturday!
We are absolutely loving her.
Here are some fun little facts about Isla:
-She constantly has her hands in her face. Yep. We've got a thumb sucker on our hands, people.
-The thing that gets her to sleep the fastest is Mama singing to her. These are probably the sweetest moments that we have together. Snuggles and singing.
-Morning time=Daddy time. And when he wakes her up in the morning he gets a big smile. :)
But really, the last month of my life has brought on a ton of work coupled with a ton of blessings. Being a mama is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Being that it has only been a month, I am excited to see what is to come. There will be heartache and tears. I'm sure of it. But there will also be laughter and great joy. I am ready to take it all on.
Meeting Isla has softened my heart in ways that only God can truly understand. I see the world through a new set of lenses and I have learned so much about myself. I feel like im snapping out of a 24-year-old bad mood and am finally experiencing the joy in life. Meeting Isla has showed me that real joy comes from what you put out in this world. Not the circumstances that surround you. Babies have a way of just making sense out of life. I never knew I could love someone so much, so fast. All of this comes with a lot of hard work. And there are hard moments when I want to run like hell. And if you know me you know that I don't run. But I wouldn't trade it all for the world. Not only because I love her immensely, but because I love the person she has brought out in me. Meeting Isla has made the world a little bit brighter. Meeting Isla has made heart a little more full. And meeting Isla has made me a whole lot happier. :)
Looking forward to the journey that is to come.
xo, Em
So I thought it would be fun to introduce my favorite little girl to you:
We are absolutely loving her.
Here are some fun little facts about Isla:
-She constantly has her hands in her face. Yep. We've got a thumb sucker on our hands, people.
-The thing that gets her to sleep the fastest is Mama singing to her. These are probably the sweetest moments that we have together. Snuggles and singing.
-Morning time=Daddy time. And when he wakes her up in the morning he gets a big smile. :)
But really, the last month of my life has brought on a ton of work coupled with a ton of blessings. Being a mama is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Being that it has only been a month, I am excited to see what is to come. There will be heartache and tears. I'm sure of it. But there will also be laughter and great joy. I am ready to take it all on.
Meeting Isla has softened my heart in ways that only God can truly understand. I see the world through a new set of lenses and I have learned so much about myself. I feel like im snapping out of a 24-year-old bad mood and am finally experiencing the joy in life. Meeting Isla has showed me that real joy comes from what you put out in this world. Not the circumstances that surround you. Babies have a way of just making sense out of life. I never knew I could love someone so much, so fast. All of this comes with a lot of hard work. And there are hard moments when I want to run like hell. And if you know me you know that I don't run. But I wouldn't trade it all for the world. Not only because I love her immensely, but because I love the person she has brought out in me. Meeting Isla has made the world a little bit brighter. Meeting Isla has made heart a little more full. And meeting Isla has made me a whole lot happier. :)Looking forward to the journey that is to come.
xo, Em
Monday, April 29, 2013
Back in the Dating Game :)
Josh and I love going out together. We find so much joy in spending time with each other and exploring new places and trying new things. We are in no way shape or form "home-bodies". Needless to say, this has been hard on our checkbook. :) Once we realized this we decided to start a weekly night specifically designated for going out. Our "date night" as it is neatly scribbled onto our calender. :) The plan was that we would stay in (or go hijack my parent's BBQ & pool ;) !!) the other 6 nights of the week, and date nights would be designated for eating out, movies, meeting up with friends in cities we don't frequent...etc.
We are on week two of this new date night thing and I am totally looking forward to week three. I have to say it is SO much better than I even expected it to be! Sure, I have been on many "dates" with my husband, but planning on our dates in advance have made it that much more fun. I feel like I am actually "dating" my husband again. It has made it so much more special. I love getting dressed up knowing that I am going out on a date NOT just going to dinner with my husband.
This has been such a fun thing in our marriage. I totally see the significance in dating your spouse. I feel so loved and filled up at the end of the night. This may have started as a solution to spending so much money but it has ended up being so much more than that. Something that I treasure very much. It is something I hope to continue for the rest of our lives, however it changes our evolves. I hope it is always something that remains. I urge my married friends to date your spouse...it will do wonders for your marriage--I promise! If you need a sitter--call me :)
I just thought I would share this little update in our family :)
We are totally back in the dating game and LOVING IT!
XOXO
Em
We are on week two of this new date night thing and I am totally looking forward to week three. I have to say it is SO much better than I even expected it to be! Sure, I have been on many "dates" with my husband, but planning on our dates in advance have made it that much more fun. I feel like I am actually "dating" my husband again. It has made it so much more special. I love getting dressed up knowing that I am going out on a date NOT just going to dinner with my husband.
This has been such a fun thing in our marriage. I totally see the significance in dating your spouse. I feel so loved and filled up at the end of the night. This may have started as a solution to spending so much money but it has ended up being so much more than that. Something that I treasure very much. It is something I hope to continue for the rest of our lives, however it changes our evolves. I hope it is always something that remains. I urge my married friends to date your spouse...it will do wonders for your marriage--I promise! If you need a sitter--call me :)
I just thought I would share this little update in our family :)
We are totally back in the dating game and LOVING IT!
XOXO
Em
Our First two Date Night Photos...
Decades more to come :)
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Give me Faith
Lately the word faith has been stirring in my mind.
There was a time in our life, soon after we got married that we just really didn't see a need for God. We stopped spending time with him. We slowly started to pull out of the ministries we were serving in. The weeks that we would actually show up at church were few and far between. Sunday mornings were our mornings to sleep in and lounge around the house. It's not that we were rejecting our faith. We just became lazy and the absence of Jesus in our lives was slowly pulling us further and further away from each other.
Very soon after we found out I was pregnant something stirred up inside of both of us. We started to notice the gaping hole in our life and our marriage. We wanted a change but didn't know where to start. Josh suggested that we make a New Years Resolution to pray together every day. Let me tell you--this is the best decision that we have made thus far in our marriage. If you are not praying with your spouse regularly, do it. Seriously...it works wonders. I have never felt closer to my husband.
It is crazy how when you start to really pursue the Lord he speaks to you so clearly. In mid-February, on a trip home from Big Bear, Josh told me that he felt that God was telling him that we needed to get back involved being High School Leaders. He didn't want to tell me because he didn't think I would want to get involved. I told him that I had actually been hearing the same thing from God but I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to get involved. :) God had bigger plans. Everything ended up falling into place and we both feel that we are serving exactly where God wants us. Around this time our church was going through a series called "Fully Devoted" talking about being a fully devoted follower of Christ and everything that comes along with that. Amazing series, by the way. We both felt it on our hearts to start tithing. Soon after that, it was reading our bibles and journaling. Then--witnessing. It felt like every Sunday our pastor was talking directly to us. God was saying "Okay--you want to really experience me?? This is what you need to do next." We were so excited venture into every next step of this adventure of experiencing God.
After we started to really obey God it felt like life kept throwing rocks at us. And I don't mean little stones. I am talking big-fat-freakin-rocks. We really couldn't catch a break. We both became so discouraged. We felt frustrated and angry. Why was this happening? We were doing everything we were supposed to be doing! Why wasn't God rewarding us for that??
Then it hit us like a ton of bricks.
He doesn't owe us anything. But we owe him everything.
Every person that we would talk to about our struggles would tell us "Have faith. God will take care of you." Every verse I would read would talk about having faith even in your pain. Every worship song that would speak of faith would bring me to tears. But it was so hard to trust. It was so hard to not take back control over our lives. I wanted to walk on water. I didn't want to look down. We both wanted to keep our eyes on Jesus and trust completely. But it was scary.
This brings us to the now.
This week, we got hit with a really big rock. We both wanted to just give up. Almost immediately after we were knocked off of our feet I heard a song that I am sure that I have heard before but it took on such a bigger meaning.
The very first few lines shook me in a major way:
I need You to soften my heart, To break me apart.
I need You to open my eyes, To see that You're shaping my life.
You can listen to it here :)
This became our prayer.
"Give me faith to trust what you say...I'm broken inside, I give you my life"
"My flesh may fail, but my God you never will"
I can't tell you the times I have repeated this in my head over and over.
I can't tell you how many times I have had to give it to God.
This song has played on repeat in our house all week.
We are so thirsty for that faith. To walk on water.
We long for trust without boarders, as Hillsong United so gracefully puts it in their song, Oceans.
(another good song that can be frequently found on loop in our home :)
I wish I could say that our new journey of not only pursuing God, but also pursuing real faith and trust has led us to an easy, painless, and care-free life. No. It's freaking scary. But it's so worth it. We wont stop living for Christ just because things get hard. We will keep going and we will continue to lean on each other daily.
As hard as these last few months have been, it has been amazing to be able to experience God in a very real way. It has been rewarding to re-discover the simple things about Jesus. It has been inspiring experiencing a true, Christ-centered marriage. And it has been humbling to be knocked off of our feet and to realize He doesn't owe us anything. But we owe him everything. There will always be rough patches in life. I think what God has really been showing me is that we need to fight for him in every season. Not just when things are easy. I want to live a life passionately pursing Christ, no matter what!
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
Thank you for letting me share whats been on my heart.
I really hope that this is some-what encouraging, and we would really appreciate your prayers!
Let's bare each other's burdens. Let me know how I can pray for you :)
xoxo
Em :)
There was a time in our life, soon after we got married that we just really didn't see a need for God. We stopped spending time with him. We slowly started to pull out of the ministries we were serving in. The weeks that we would actually show up at church were few and far between. Sunday mornings were our mornings to sleep in and lounge around the house. It's not that we were rejecting our faith. We just became lazy and the absence of Jesus in our lives was slowly pulling us further and further away from each other.
Very soon after we found out I was pregnant something stirred up inside of both of us. We started to notice the gaping hole in our life and our marriage. We wanted a change but didn't know where to start. Josh suggested that we make a New Years Resolution to pray together every day. Let me tell you--this is the best decision that we have made thus far in our marriage. If you are not praying with your spouse regularly, do it. Seriously...it works wonders. I have never felt closer to my husband.
It is crazy how when you start to really pursue the Lord he speaks to you so clearly. In mid-February, on a trip home from Big Bear, Josh told me that he felt that God was telling him that we needed to get back involved being High School Leaders. He didn't want to tell me because he didn't think I would want to get involved. I told him that I had actually been hearing the same thing from God but I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to get involved. :) God had bigger plans. Everything ended up falling into place and we both feel that we are serving exactly where God wants us. Around this time our church was going through a series called "Fully Devoted" talking about being a fully devoted follower of Christ and everything that comes along with that. Amazing series, by the way. We both felt it on our hearts to start tithing. Soon after that, it was reading our bibles and journaling. Then--witnessing. It felt like every Sunday our pastor was talking directly to us. God was saying "Okay--you want to really experience me?? This is what you need to do next." We were so excited venture into every next step of this adventure of experiencing God.
After we started to really obey God it felt like life kept throwing rocks at us. And I don't mean little stones. I am talking big-fat-freakin-rocks. We really couldn't catch a break. We both became so discouraged. We felt frustrated and angry. Why was this happening? We were doing everything we were supposed to be doing! Why wasn't God rewarding us for that??
Then it hit us like a ton of bricks.
He doesn't owe us anything. But we owe him everything.
Every person that we would talk to about our struggles would tell us "Have faith. God will take care of you." Every verse I would read would talk about having faith even in your pain. Every worship song that would speak of faith would bring me to tears. But it was so hard to trust. It was so hard to not take back control over our lives. I wanted to walk on water. I didn't want to look down. We both wanted to keep our eyes on Jesus and trust completely. But it was scary.
This brings us to the now.
This week, we got hit with a really big rock. We both wanted to just give up. Almost immediately after we were knocked off of our feet I heard a song that I am sure that I have heard before but it took on such a bigger meaning.
The very first few lines shook me in a major way:
I need You to soften my heart, To break me apart.
I need You to open my eyes, To see that You're shaping my life.
You can listen to it here :)
This became our prayer.
"Give me faith to trust what you say...I'm broken inside, I give you my life"
"My flesh may fail, but my God you never will"
I can't tell you the times I have repeated this in my head over and over.
I can't tell you how many times I have had to give it to God.
This song has played on repeat in our house all week.
We are so thirsty for that faith. To walk on water.
We long for trust without boarders, as Hillsong United so gracefully puts it in their song, Oceans.
(another good song that can be frequently found on loop in our home :)
I wish I could say that our new journey of not only pursuing God, but also pursuing real faith and trust has led us to an easy, painless, and care-free life. No. It's freaking scary. But it's so worth it. We wont stop living for Christ just because things get hard. We will keep going and we will continue to lean on each other daily.
As hard as these last few months have been, it has been amazing to be able to experience God in a very real way. It has been rewarding to re-discover the simple things about Jesus. It has been inspiring experiencing a true, Christ-centered marriage. And it has been humbling to be knocked off of our feet and to realize He doesn't owe us anything. But we owe him everything. There will always be rough patches in life. I think what God has really been showing me is that we need to fight for him in every season. Not just when things are easy. I want to live a life passionately pursing Christ, no matter what!
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
Thank you for letting me share whats been on my heart.
I really hope that this is some-what encouraging, and we would really appreciate your prayers!
Let's bare each other's burdens. Let me know how I can pray for you :)
xoxo
Em :)
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Choosing Joy
I am really bad at blogging. I have TONS of time to do it but I never get around to it. I really want to change that. So let this be the start of a new era of blogging for Emily! You can all keep me accountable.
I can do it...I know I can!
Now, let me be the first to introduce you to my sweet girl, Isla Christine!
I am 5 1/2 months into my pregnancy and she is already the center of mine and Josh's world.
We love her so much.
We are totally "those parents"
We think she is SO cute already. The littlest kick melts my heart. Josh loves to sing to my stomach, and talk to her. (He is the only one I really don't mind doing this...they warned me it would be weird when people touched your growing tummy, but I can't help but think it is more strange for people to talk to it. How come no one warned me about this?? haha) But when my husband talks to our little monkey-girl and she responds with her little kicks, it makes my week. We can't wait to meet her.
One of the best decisions we have made as parents so far (in my opinion) is that we have made a conscious effort to STAY POSITIVE. The minute you announce you are expecting everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, wants to give you their two cents. We knew it was coming. And we chose to take what people say with a grain of salt. It is silly to me how many people try to scare a pregnant woman, really?! It's actually mean! I can't tell you how many times I've been told:
"You are going to be sick your ENTIRE pregnancy" (I'm actually feeling great these days!)
or "Say goodbye to your social life"
or "You are going to give birth and no matter how much you read you WON'T understand your baby"
or "Enjoy your life now because you are going be miserable after the baby is born"
Seriously...these are just some of the ridiculous things that people have said to me...and I'm not even going to get started on all the non-solicited advice I get daily!
The bottom line is that we know our life is going to change. We know things will not stay the same. We know there are going to be tough moments when all we can really do is rely on God and each other. We know we are probably going to get frustrated and shed some tears. But we also know that we are going to CHOOSE JOY.
There will always be hard seasons in life. But does that mean that they are not the most rewarding? I do not want to complain about being a mom but rather take it on to the best of my ability and rely on Jesus to mold me into the mama that Isla is going to need.
I am going into this new chapter realistically. I only have an idea of what is coming. I do know at times it is going to be really hard. But I also know that joy is a choice. I believe with my whole heart that nothing that is of value on this earth is easy.
I know there will be moments of tears and moments of laughter.
I know there will be moments of insecurity and moments of confidence.
I know there will be moments of frustration and moments of pure beauty.
I can't wait for EVERY moment. Even the tough ones.
I can't wait for her giggles.
I can't wait to feel her baby skin.
I can't wait to get to look into her eyes.
I can't wait to watch my husband love our baby girl.
I can't wait to be her mama.
And I am not going to let anyone take that joy and excitement away!
So, I challenge you to go live out your day to the fullest. Exude positivity...
and CHOOSE JOY.
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
xoxo,
Em
I can do it...I know I can!
Now, let me be the first to introduce you to my sweet girl, Isla Christine!
I am 5 1/2 months into my pregnancy and she is already the center of mine and Josh's world.
We love her so much.
We are totally "those parents"
We think she is SO cute already. The littlest kick melts my heart. Josh loves to sing to my stomach, and talk to her. (He is the only one I really don't mind doing this...they warned me it would be weird when people touched your growing tummy, but I can't help but think it is more strange for people to talk to it. How come no one warned me about this?? haha) But when my husband talks to our little monkey-girl and she responds with her little kicks, it makes my week. We can't wait to meet her.
One of the best decisions we have made as parents so far (in my opinion) is that we have made a conscious effort to STAY POSITIVE. The minute you announce you are expecting everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, wants to give you their two cents. We knew it was coming. And we chose to take what people say with a grain of salt. It is silly to me how many people try to scare a pregnant woman, really?! It's actually mean! I can't tell you how many times I've been told:
"You are going to be sick your ENTIRE pregnancy" (I'm actually feeling great these days!)
or "Say goodbye to your social life"
or "You are going to give birth and no matter how much you read you WON'T understand your baby"
or "Enjoy your life now because you are going be miserable after the baby is born"
Seriously...these are just some of the ridiculous things that people have said to me...and I'm not even going to get started on all the non-solicited advice I get daily!
The bottom line is that we know our life is going to change. We know things will not stay the same. We know there are going to be tough moments when all we can really do is rely on God and each other. We know we are probably going to get frustrated and shed some tears. But we also know that we are going to CHOOSE JOY.
There will always be hard seasons in life. But does that mean that they are not the most rewarding? I do not want to complain about being a mom but rather take it on to the best of my ability and rely on Jesus to mold me into the mama that Isla is going to need.
I am going into this new chapter realistically. I only have an idea of what is coming. I do know at times it is going to be really hard. But I also know that joy is a choice. I believe with my whole heart that nothing that is of value on this earth is easy.
I know there will be moments of tears and moments of laughter.
I know there will be moments of insecurity and moments of confidence.
I know there will be moments of frustration and moments of pure beauty.
I can't wait for EVERY moment. Even the tough ones.
I can't wait for her giggles.
I can't wait to feel her baby skin.
I can't wait to get to look into her eyes.
I can't wait to watch my husband love our baby girl.
I can't wait to be her mama.
And I am not going to let anyone take that joy and excitement away!
So, I challenge you to go live out your day to the fullest. Exude positivity...
and CHOOSE JOY.
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
xoxo,
Em
Easter 2013 at CCV
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