My 2014 Word

There are a few things I would like to try to do differently this year and I think that they can mostly be summed up in one word.

B R A V E.
this is my word for 2014.

BRAVE  to speak truth.
BRAVE  to hear truth.
BRAVE  to keep my mouth shut.
BRAVE  to step out of my comfort zone.
BRAVE  to do what I love loudly.
BRAVE  to be consistent.
BRAVE  to be flexible.
BRAVE  to not compare.
BRAVE  to be myself.
BRAVE  to trust wholeheartedly.
BRAVE  to love unabandoned.
BRAVE  to reach out.
BRAVE  to forgive.
BRAVE  to be open.
BRAVE  to allow failure.
BRAVE  to allow praise.
BRAVE  to let him lead.

What is your word for 2014? :)
I would love to hear!

A little window into our week:

Trying squash for the first time!

 

 A NEW favorite!!

First Ponytail!

Knotts for Josh's brother's Birthday

To be held.

This is what it is to be held.

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

and you survive.

This is what it is to be loved,

and to know that the promise was when everything fell 

we'd be held. 

(("Held" Natalie Grant))

 

August 2013

This week Isla was sick. 

We were awaken in the middle of the night to find that she had thrown up all over her crib. 

This was the start of a long three days of sickness and heartache for our little one

This just so happened to have happened on a 72 

hour work week for Josh.

I was left to navigate my way through taking care of our little love on my own while my husband worked his butt off to provide for our family. ((i'm totally blessed by him.))

In the middle of one long night, Isla was in my bed. She was struggling to keep food down and had woken up several times with what sounded like cries for help. After half a night of this...she woke up with one of the saddest cries I have ever heard. 

She was hungry.

She was confused.

She was hurting.

MY heart was broken.

In a total loss of what to do for my sweet baby girl 

I picked her up in my arms and 

just held her.

For the most part, my little bug is NOT a cuddler by any means. Strong willed, independent, and curious...she has no time for snuggles! :) But when I picked her up in my arms and held her close to me she sunk herself right in. Her little head found it's way into the perfect spot on my shoulder. Her tiny arms wrapped around my neck.

She needed her momma.

I laid there, propped up on pillows, holding my sweet baby in my arms for about an hour while she slept. 

The whole time I could not help but think...

This is who God is.

This is how he loves us.

This is his promise to us.

He doesn't promise that when we live within his will that things will be easy or that we will never hurt. But, he promises that when the you-know-what hits the fan...

We'd  be held.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

It is so humbling when God speaks to me through my babygirl. I am constantly trying to figure things out on my own. Strong willed, independent...((I wonder where she gets it :) ))...
It is not in my nature to run to him.

I want to rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around the neck of my Savior.

Join me as we find rest for our souls.

Run to him, and be held.

For the Bug.

Tomorrow will mark the last day of the first full week of twenty fourteen.

One of my New Years Resolutions was to write more regularly this year. I am currently in the process of picking a new name, redesigning my site, etc...so I kept putting it off until my site was "more beautiful, more complete"...I am having trouble coming up with the perfect name. "Once I find THE name I will start". Needless to say...I was majorly putting it off!

But then, tonight, after a talk with a good friend I like to call "Mom" I realized that I am not writing for anyone but myself...and the bug.

This journey was intended as a creative outlet for me and as a little glimpse into my soul for my daughter. One of my favorite things is reading my mother's writing. I soak up every word. Let it sink in. Breathe in the marvelous-ness that is her. When I was younger I would sneak into her room and secretly read her journals. I wasn't trying to be nosy...I just wanted to learn more about her. I wanted to know her thoughts. I found the things she had to say interesting and insightful. I probably couldn't define it at the time but I wanted to know her on a more intimate level. 

The best way to define the way I have entered into this year is "hopeful". Things feel different this year. I feel different this year. I want to record this pivotal, transitional time in my life for my girl. I want write with honesty and openness. I want this to be a place where she can come, soak it in and breathe in me.

This will be a sacred place. 

A place to share my brave moments and my scary moments. 

My trials and my lessons. 

A place to share the amazingness that God does and the times I really don't feel Him.

A place to pour out my heart and stretch myself creatively. 

A place to be silly and to be real. A place for me...and the bug. :)

XO, Em

Some highlights of our week:

Sitting in the grass, watching the cars.

On an afternoon walk to the grocery store.

 Snuggles in the park, watching the skateboarders.